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Monday, March 10, 2008

My Kids Are Weird

Yeah, I know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and all but seriously, sometimes they are weird even by my standards.

Take for example my oldest, I recently discovered that when he goes poo he takes off all his clothes. Now I'm totally can see how one wouldn't want to shit in a public place like school but when I had to get some more toilet paper for him the other day I came into the bathroom to find him naked on the shitter.

"What are you doing? I said.

"Going poo... what does it look like?" he said.

"Well why are you naked?" I asked.

"I always take my clothes off when I poo," he explained.

"That's why I can't do it at school."

"But why do you take all of your clothes off?" I asked.

And, like a typical 7-year-old he replied, "I don't knooooooooow."

Whatever works for you cowboy.

Not to be undone, is my 4-year-old who likes to sleep on the floor of his room. He spent the better part of his early years sleeping with me and mom (thank god for king size mattresses!) so when it came time to finally upgrade him from the crib (which he almost never slept it) to a bed we just gave him our own futon that we had used up until we happened upon the previously mentioned (and greatly discounted) king size mattress.

The futon sits about 8 inches or so off the ground, high enough to stuff crap under but low enough that a roll out of bed for a toddler would be harmless. I guess somewhere along the way he figured he just skip the whole futon nonsense and just sleep on the floor where he eventually ends up.

While he does like to be tucked in, generally by the time you've made it halfway down the hallway you'll hear the thunk of him rolling onto the floor. I don't know how long he was been doing this but a few months back he confessed that he liked sleeping on the floor better then his bed.

And usually on the pile of pajamas - which he feels the need to take every last one out before he can pick which to wear, then leaves them discarded on the floor only to snuggle up on top of them after he's wrapped himself in his blanket and rolled off the bed.

Now I sorta know where this comes from because my last two semesters in college I had taken to the idea that it was pointless to fold my laundry and put my clean clothes back into drawers after washing them. Rather I would just dumped my freshly-laundered clothes in the corner of my bed that butted up against the wall. This way I could just reach over and pick out my clothes and essentially be dressed as I rolled out of bed.

As for naked pooing? Well I did play rugby and have been known to get naked at a party or two but I confess I've never pooed naked (unless it was before a shower or during some bout with the flu where bodily fluids were being released from both ends simultaneously).

5 comments:

Matt said...

My older brother slept on the floor for years...of course he is a nut job.

Bird Spot said...

Been there and been there. My son goes #2 totally nude and my daughter, who used to sleep on our futon, often ends up on the floor. Sometimes she starts off on the floor. Kids are so weird.

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff. Nice blog....
check out mine if you have the time

Whit said...

Naked pooing, that's pure Castanza.

Khaki said...

I sometimes like to poo naked, but it sorta weirds me out when my nipples graze my thighs.