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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Fuckin' Squirrels, Man


I got a new bird feeder for Christmas from the family because I really like birds.

  • I really do.

  • I've managed to make friends with the wrens from the summer and have been tossing them old bread from time to time and then I figured since winter was upon us that maybe it would be nice to put some food out there on a regular basis for them.

    I hung the bird feeder up in one of the trees right off our back deck; one that had an easy vantage point from the window over the sink in the kitchen (where I spend most of my time rinsing and cleaning dishes) as well as out the back door (which I go through all the time to toss beer bottles into the recycling bins).

    It seemed like the birds were ignoring it or hadn't discovered it yet because every time I looked out the window the feeder was still full. Yet my backyard is full of birds like cardinals, wrens, orioles, finches, tufted tit mice and the occasional owl, hawk or falcon.

    The one day the feeder was empty.

    Completely empty.

    And the I noticed that the fucking squirrels had chewed their way through the little beak size holes and made them big enough to stick their heads in there.

    Don't get me wrong, I like squirrels for the most part.

  • We almost adopted one this past summer

  • But goddamn if they aren't a total fucking nuisance when it comes to trying to maintain a bird feeder.

    I always hear of talk of squirrel-proof feeders but then everybody I know who has purchased one said that the squirrels eventually figure out a way to get at the food.

    Somebody help me... or help the birds!
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