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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I Regret To Inform You All

I have passed down SAS to my 7-year-old son.

It's true, I had my suspicions for months now but last night was the deal sealer.

I heard him calling me from behind the bathroom door.

It was the sound of distress.

I open up to see what was the matter and was greeted by the most heinous smell ever.


His ass fucking stunk like a cesspool baking in the hot, humid sun.

I gagged and then asked him what he needed.

"I can't reach that book," he said.

So I grabbed the book in question, the one the finger was pointing to and gave it to him.

Then made a hasty exit and bowed my head in shame for passing on the Stinky Ass Syndrome to my son.

But I did look up and say a quick prayer to God and tell him that I'm thankful, thankful we've got two fucking shitters up in this joint!

And yes, the little fella reads on the toilet.

Wonder where he got that idea?


Jeff said...

It is a sad day. At least he is asking for reading materials. Matthew (7) climbs up on the toilet gargoyle style and strains and grunts like he is passing a stone. There is no reading. Only crouching tiger,hidden poop. But, thankfully, it smells like roses and spring showers. Unlike at least one of your two bathrooms.

greg said...

i laughed.

out loud even.

so's i guess that's LOL...

Jeff said...

Please don't ever say LOL again. For the sake of our as yet undeveloped friendship. I actually respect you as someone who would never demean yourself by using shorthand text based acronyms like LOL. WTF?

greg said...